I have 3 computers.
A small one, a big one and a really big one.
By big I mean powerful.
And expensive.
These things are tax write offs, because they’re used for strictly BUSINESS purposes.
If something is deducible on my tax return, that means it’s free.
Because, in theory, I would have paid that money to the government anyway.
If you make £100,000/year.
Your tax bill is £32,193 exactly.
Leaving you with £67,807 exactly.
If you make £100,000/year.
But spend £35,000 on tax deductible shite.
You’re left with a taxable income of £65,000.
Your tax bill is £17,493 exactly.
Leaving you with £47,507 exactly.
But now you have £35,000 worth of shite you barely needed and that will depreciate faster than a dildo.
But giving you a short term net of £82,507 exactly.
You’re much better off throwing money away on tax deductible shite than handing it to the government.
That’s what you call Man Mathematics.
Man mathematics accounts for almost all of the purchases made on eBay Motors between the hours of 9pm - 5am.
It’s the thing that’s allowed the sports betting industry to thrive.
A man once started a strip club on a boat.
It caught fire, then sank.
The failure of this particular enterprise may have been a result of nipple tassels that flew too close to the open pit BBQ.
A common workplace accident in the floating strip club trade.
However the inception of such trade you can guarantee was down to man mathematics.
It’s not always disadvantageous however.
Walk down the soap isle of any supermarket.
You will find a single bottle of male shower gel that claims to be sufficient for every square inch of our biology.
Hair, face and body.
It’s soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, cleanser, moisturiser and aftershave.
It won’t be long until there’s an all in one shower gel you can brush your teeth with.
Hell, you could probably use it to lubricate the driveshaft in your car.
This is because the psychologists behind marketing understand man mathematics.
We will never ever walk out of a supermarket with more than one bottle of soap.
Women, on the other hand, require a different type of soap depending on what position the moon is in that night.
2 bottles for her hair, shampoo and conditioner.
I still dont know which one comes first.
Because it doesn’t matter.
Lavender Exfoliating Gel
Cleansing Nettle Extract Face Scrub
Pure Cocoa Butter Toning Cream
Aloe Vera Clarifying Exfoliant Serum
SBF 50+ Post Wash Balm
Rosewater Hydration boosting Mist
I made one of those up and I bet you can’t tell which one.
A morning moisturiser, an evening moisturiser, a mid day moistJESUS CHRIST HOW DRY IS YO SKIN BITCH
The point is….
Man mathematics is a gift and a curse.
It’s also the reason I have a Knights of the Templar 6ft wearable suit of armour in the garage.
That was not a tax write off.
But I do use it for strictly business purposes.
Kommentare